The Institute of Alice
by Procrastination Fairy
Summary: Otherwise known as what would happen if Gakuen Alice was made into an bad English dub. DO NOT TAKE SERIOUSLY. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BAD!


**It took long enough, but here's the first installment of the Bad Gakuen Alice Dub (aka the Alice Institute). Prepare for a cheesy theme song, name changes, and censoring! Also, nonsensical age changes. List of all character names (the ones I plan to have appear) and ages are at the bottom. I just want to make sure it's clear.**

**Also, I am not making fun of any particular dubs. It's just a joke. And I bet no theme song in the world could be as cringe-worthy as the one I wrote.**

**Episode 1: We Are Alice!**

**(Combined chapters 1, 2, and part of 3)**

"Twenty-nine . . . thirty!" The pig-tailed girl beamed. "I now have three dollars and thirty cents! Now, I can go to New York and save Holly Tara!"

* * *

_8 'o' clock—can't be late  
Gotta get my priorities straight  
In school that's pretty much a zoo  
Fire, animals, mind-reading too!_

_I just have to find my place!_

_We are Alice!  
In this mad, mad world . . . .  
We are Alice!  
But I'm just one little girl  
We are Alice!  
I'm gonna make them see!  
We are Alice!  
I'm just me!_

_Nathaniel thinks he can win  
But I'm not giving in  
I'm gonna show them what I'm made of  
(And maybe even fall in love!)_

_With my friends, I can do it!  
Step by step, bit by bit  
Powers I didn't know that I had  
And you know, things may not be that bad—_

_At the Institute of Alice . . ._

_At the Institute of Alice!_

_(ALICE!)_

* * *

Hi! My name is Megan Scott. I'm 13-years-old. My best friend Holly Tara Ingle and I are a special kind of person called an "alice". We attend a special school in New York City: the Alice Institute. But I didn't always go here. In fact, for a long time, I didn't even know I was an alice. It all started the week before school started. Holly Tara had moved away at the end of May, and I was relaxing at home when my friend called with important information . . . .

* * *

The phone rang loudly.

"I'll get it," yelled Megan as she tumbled down the stairs. She picked it up. "Hello?"

"_You'll never guess what!_"

Megan walked over to the living room and sat down on the couch. She said, "What?"

"_My dad just told me that apparently the people at the Alice Institute torture their students. Don't you feel bad for Holly Tara?_"

Megan gaped. "I have to go!"

"_Hey, wait—_"

The receiver slammed down. Megan gathered up all of her money and scribbled a note for her grandfather.

"I'm going to New York to join Holly Tara at the Alice Institute." Megan paused. "Well, he didn't protest." She ran out the door without thinking anymore. After a few seconds, she ran back in. "I wonder how much plane tickets actually cost."

* * *

Megan walked through the city, looking each and every way. "Wow. I never knew New York was so big." She glanced at her map. "Okay, so if I go straight three blocks and turn left, I should come to the Alice Institute." She beamed and twirled a pigtail, speaking down the sidewalk. A group of young men eyed her.

"You're looking for the Alice Institute? We can help you," one of them said.

Megan blinked innocently. "Really?"

"Yeah. Just come with us—" Another reached for her.

"Wait just a moment."

Megan and the young men turned to the voice. A pretty blonde eating an apple leaned up against the gate.

"I'm a teacher at the institute. I can show this young lady the way. In fact, I'll lead her in," she chirped. The young men's eyes sparkled. Megan eyed them. What was wrong? "Never mind that she's been walking past it for the last ten minutes . . . . Why don't you run along? I can take care of everything from here!"

The blonde winked. The men nodded and walked away.

Megan looked aghast. "What did you do to them?"

The teacher dropped her apple. She said, "You didn't . . . ? Oh, never mind. I'm Ms. Nelson. And you are?"

"Megan Scott!" she replied with a smile.

"Uh-huh. And why did you come to the Institute?" asked Ms. Nelson.

Megan didn't notice that she was scrutinizing her. _Same shade of brown hair—probably got the waviness from him—same eyes, definitely. They've got the same shape. The nose and head too. In fact, even her skin looks like . . . ._ "Oh, well, I came to see my friend Holly Tara. I really need to see her."

"I'm sorry, but you need to go home, okay?" Ms. Nelson winked again. Megan stared at her. "You don't feel weird or anything?"

Megan tilted her head as if she was pondering. She snapped straight and grinned. "Nope!"

"You know," Ms. Nelson said, "I think you might qualify for the Institute. I'll take you in in just a second. I'm waiting for something."

Megan looked around. "What?"

A creaking sound stopped her. Megan turned to the gate. A boy about her age with a cat mask was preparing to jump down. Megan noticed that he would skid over her head. She jumped out of the way. Ms. Nelson sighed.

"Nathaniel Hughes, you know you can't leave."

Nathaniel turned his head slightly and raced off. Ms. Nelson ran towards him. Megan watched in confusion. The teacher walked back to the entrance, an unconscious Nathaniel in her arms.

Ms. Nelson smiled kindly. "Let's go!"

* * *

Megan rocked back and forth on the edge of the couch. She glanced toward the boy lying down. The mask was on floor. Megan picked it up.

"Ms. Nelson has been gone for a while. I wonder where she went." Megan sighed. "I was hoping to see Holly Tara quickly."

The door opened and hit the wall. Megan fell to the floor in surprise. She whimpered as tears filled her eyes.

"Nelson!" The man scanned the room. He caught sight of Megan and Nathaniel. "She's not here. Sorry for disturbing you."

Megan grasped his arm. "Hey, don't leave! I don't know what's going on!"

The man glanced back at her warily. He sighed and took a seat on a chair. He said reluctantly, "What don't you understand?"

The brunette dried her eyes. ". . . I-I was looking for my friend and I was outside and I saw Ms. Nelson and that boy came out and then Ms. Nelson took me in here and she said that . . . I might qualify for this school, but I haven't taken any tests and I'm not a genius and I don't know what's going on!" she wailed.

He examined her for a minute. "Yeah. You're probably an alice."

"What's an alice?"

"You don't know?" The teacher sighed. "An alice is someone with a special power. The Alice Institute trains these people.

"Ms. Nelson has the Elf Alice. It automatically makes people like her, and in certain situations, do what she says. Of course, the Elf Alice is only supposed to be used on adults, or else"—he gestured to Nathaniel—"He has the Fire Alice. It's very rare and very powerful. I have the Nature Alice. I can make plants grow really fast."

"Wow!" cried Megan. "What alice do I have, Mr. McKyles?"

"I don't know." He shrugged.

Megan pouted.

Mr. McKyles stood up. "I need to go. Ms. Nelson should be back soon. If Nathaniel wakes up, press the emergency button."

"Yes, sir!" Megan saluted. As soon as the door closed, she inched over to Nathaniel and poked his face. He didn't wake up. She giggled and started to walk away. A sharp tug on one of her pigtails sent her to the floor. She looked up. Nathaniel was staring at her. He pounced on her, holding her wrists and legs to the ground.

_His eyes . . . are red._

"Who are you?" he demanded. "Answer me right now! Or I'll burn your hair!"

"Wha-wha-wha—?" stuttered the girl. Glass shattered. Pieces of the window flew towards her. She leaned cautiously, trying not to get cut. Nathaniel shifted so he was sitting on her.

Nathaniel said, "You're late, Luke."

The blond rose from the shards. "Whose fault do you think that is?" Luke spotted Megan trying to push his friend off of her. "Who's that?"

"She won't say. She was here when I woke up," he answered.

"Is she an alice?"

"Don't know." The black-haired boy leered over her. "I think I'll make her cry. Then again, she'd just get uglier—if that's possible."

"Hey! Jerk!" Megan wriggled around and screamed. After a few minutes, the door to the room opened.

"Megan? Are you okay?" Ms. Nelson asked. Mr. McKyles followed in behind her.

She jumped up and ran to the teachers. Nathaniel and Luke climbed out the window.

"Bye, ugly!"

Ms. Nelson looked at the girl. "Ugly?"

Megan cried. "I'm not ugly!"

"Here's your new uniform!"

"Yay!" Megan stood up and snatched it. She ran to the bathroom and changed. She jumped out and spun around, the red skirt lifting slightly. "How do I look?"

"Cute!" Ms. Nelson winked. "Now, Megan, your entrance has been approved—_except_ there's a test you must pass. You have one week to get your classmates to accept you. We'll watch you and determine your alice level. In just a minute, the class president and your helper will arrive. Then, you can go meet your class?"

Megan grinned. "Is that all? That's easy! Everyone likes me!"

"Excuse me . . . ."

The teachers and new student turned to the door. A blond boy with glasses and a short-haired girl walked in. Megan stood still for a moment, flabbergasted.

"Holly Tara!"

Holly Tara groaned. Megan ran to hug her, but Holly Tara dodged. This scenario repeated itself.

"So _she's_ Megan's best friend?" Ms. Nelson wondered. Mr. McKyles watched in amusement.

Megan panted and slowed down. She smiled and said, "I really wanted to see you, Holly Tara, so I came all the way here! Don't be mean! Let me hug you!"

"Fine," she replied grudgingly.

"Let's go to your class now!" Ms. Nelson cheered.

* * *

The classroom door creaked open. Megan peeked in. Chairs were flying across the room—she noted that so were unicorns and even a person.

"Welcome to our class!" the boy said, looking over her shoulder. "I'm Toby Taylor, but everyone calls me Prez. I'll help you out in any way I can, but with a class like this, I—"

"Prez, welcome back!"

"Who's she?"

"New student?"

Megan looked at her new classmates. This was great.

**First of all, thank you to Sayonara7 for helping with the names. Many of the given names are her ideas. The names are the best thing about this "dub". I'd like to think that they're up to the quality of the English Sailor Moon. They did good on those names as far as I'm concerned.**

**Now what was censored here was Narumi kissing Natsume, the bean sprout, the wondering of Narumi's gender, and Mikan being freaked out about said stuff. Instead, Misaki explains alices to her. Also, Natsume will not say anything about her panties. That's objectionable.**

**Discontinuities: Misaki never introduced himself. **

**Megan Scott (Mikan Sakura), age 13—Mikan's name was fairly easy to pick. The reason she was aged up is because "executives decided that a ten-year-old is too young to have crushes". Never mind that she doesn't look thirteen in the slightest.  
Holly Tara Ingle (Hotaru Imai), age 13—I couldn't decide between the two names, so I picked both.  
Nathaniel Hughes (Natsume Hyuuga), age 13—I think this is the best name I chose. I thought finding an "H" surname would be difficult but I saw Hughes and thought . . . genius.  
Luke "Hopper" Neville (Ruka "Ruka-pyon" Nogi), age 13—Not particularly hard. The nickname was difficult though.  
Travis Anderson (Tsubasa Andou), age 15—A pretty good name if I may say so myself.  
Mikayla Harris (Misaki Harada), age 15—This one isn't bad.  
Ms. Nelson (Narumi-sensei)—Apparently Narumi acted too feminine. He's now a she.  
Mr. McKyles (Misaki-sensei)—I chose this name because it's similar to Mikayla. I tried to keep the confusion there.  
Mr. Johnson (Jinno-sensei)—No comment.  
Yi Min Holloway (Yoichi Hijiri), age 4—Yoichi is now half-Chinese because it is impossibly hard to find Y names. He's aged up a year for reasons not released.  
Toby "Prez" Taylor (Yuu "Iinchou" Tobita), age 13—I had to make his name Toby. I just had to.  
Anna Illandwitz (Anna Umenomiya), age 13—I'm not really sure where her last name came from. Umenomiya seemed strange, so I made up one that I thought was similar enough.  
Noelle Kinleyson (Nonoko Ogasawara), age 13—Another strange last name.  
Cody "Mindreader" Young (Kokoro Yome), age 13—He's mainly called Mindreader.  
Summer "Permy" Shawn (Sumire "Permy" Shouda), age 14—Well, there's not much to speak about.  
Keith Neils (Kitsuneme), age 13—This has got to be the worst name I've chosen.  
Allison "Ali" Hughes (Aoi Hyuuga), age 4—aged down because "executives wanted her to have a relationship with Yi Min". This contradicts an earlier statement, but whatever. Those executives . . . .**


End file.
